Afraid of the Unknown

I have mixed feelings about 2011 and we are only 24 days into the year!

I have a feeling that 2011 it is going to be amazing, that doors opening to something wonderful kind of feeling, that new opportunity, and things are going to turn out GREAT kind of feeling.. and yet on the other hand I have that sick not sure HOW this is going to all come about...kind of feeling.

Getting up every day and having that same routine (i.e. get up, drop the boys off at daycare, go to work, get off work, pick up boys, go home, dinner, bath time, and bedtime...) is comfortable, there is security in routine. If you shake-up any one of your normal routine items then the whole karma balance is off in your life... for example if I were to have bath time before dinner, then someone is bound to dump a plate of spaghetti or milk in their lap, resulting in another bath, you know what I mean... you just don't mess with it.

So here is where I have a fear of the unknown. What happens when you take out a major part of that routine... let's say "go to work" then what? Well the boys don't go to daycare, for one, dinner is not take out, bath time before bedtime...and the whole dynamic in the house shifts just a little. Why did I use that one as my example... well let's just say that there is a HUGE possibility that within the next 4-8 weeks that this may be the case. My client (Adobe) that I have been working with for over 10 years (minus that little bit that I stayed home with Kyle) is consolidating their distribution. So we are not losing the business for anything negative, just simply because of current market trends. Considering that they are a large part of our division as a result I may be out of a job.

Ok, so this takes me back to my initial statement... “I have a feeling that 2011 it is going to be amazing..." Is it necessary to shake up your routine, make you look "outside the box" in order to find something better? Is that what is takes to force you to do better or to work harder at something new? I don't know, but it feels like that is what is happening.

The working harder, and the opportunity for something new don't exactly scare me, it is the UNKNOWN that scares me. Why can't I have normal routine AND new opportunity? Basically what I am saying is that I want my normal routine (or at least that steady paycheck).

Whatever this New Year brings I have hope; I have to, because pan handling is not the kind of "new opportunity" that I am talking about!