Non Custodial Responsibility

Thank you to everyone that commented on my prior post “That’s what Child Support Is For!” I knew I would get many responses. For the record I believe that child support is to support children in their home to maintain the same standard of living that they were accustom to prior to the separation. That includes cost associated with the home (heat, electrical, water, etc.) food and the children’s personal needs such as clothing and other items. I want to point out I indicated in their home. I feel that the non custodial parent should have basics available for his children when they are in their care.

One of the comments left by Anonymous said this… “Maybe you asked the wrong question... If the non custodial parent is paying child support - do they need to pay for anything else when the child is with them? Like clothing, diapers, formula etc. Or does the payment of child support mean that the custodial parent then has to provide EVERYTHING for the child?”

I think this is a very good question. I like the comment left in the prior post “I don't see you asking for packed lunches and dinners and toilet paper for the older kids, why should formula and diapers be any different.” These items are all consumables, they are things that are being used in the non custodian’s home, not in the primary residence of the child, why should child support cover those expenses when the non custodial parent is capable of providing those items?

Let me tell you what I am doing and you tell me if you think I am being too difficult.

I am currently letting my older children take their own clothing, toys, etc, to and from their dad’s house as they desire. No restrictions, regardless of who purchased it. They are old enough to take care of their own things and they are responsible for their own items.
I recently stopped providing clothing for my 2 year old. Why you ask? My 2 year old is not old enough to be responsible for his things, if he is eating chocolate ice cream in his new shirt and he is not told to put on a bib, he won’t, and he won’t care how much chocolate will stain his clothing. He can’t pack his own things and I don’t like packing clothing and not getting everything back, one shirt showed back up after missing for almost a year. On one occasion I picked up my son after he had stayed at his dad’s house late and his dad was kind enough to give him a bath, but I was handed a child wrapped in a blanket with only a diaper on, in the winter, because he did not have an extra set of pajamas or clothes. I don’t think that is right. I understand that children grow and that they may not get the use out of an outfit that was purchased for them, so if money is an issue then don’t buy the name brands. When my son is old enough to care what he is wearing, and to care for his things I will not have a problem with him taking his own clothing to his dad’s house. But until then I believe that his dad has a responsibility to care for him and his needs.

Right now when the ex spends a few hours with the baby, I do provide formula, diapers and extra clothing, toys, etc. I do this because he is not regularly visiting with him and I don’t have a problem with providing him these things for such short visits. When he starts seeing him regularly I do expect that he provide the all of these items.

So you tell me, am I being mean, difficult or an all around B-word for expecting that non custodial parents should be responsible for providing the basic needs of their children while they are in their care?

That's What Child Support Is For!

Recently I was involved in an emotional discussion regarding Child Support. Apparently my opinion and view on the purpose of Child Support differs from someone else.
Instead of me writing what I believe it is intended for I would like to hear what you think. I have a good mix of people that read my blog; married, divorced, with children and with out, some of you may pay support while others may be receiving it, or you just have an opinion about it. I want to hear from you. Even if you have never left a comment before I would appreciate your thoughts on this subject.

Who knows, maybe I am the one that is wrong....

Holy Crap with darn cheese in it!

Brittany wanted Dog's in Dough, also known as Pigs in a Blanket for her Birthday dinner. I used Cheese Hot dogs and when I cut one open Kyle loudly exclaimed
"Holy Crap, with darn cheese in it!"

Happy Birthday Brittany!

Brittany is an amazing 11 years old today and is growing up so quickly! Happy Birthday Britt!

Turning 40 was sweet!

(Several items not pictured)

Turning 40 was not so bad! I actually had a great day!

Work was fun, the department had Einstein Bagels for my B-Day Brunch and not the typical cake and ice cream that we normally do, that made me happy.

Then a few of us took a extended lunch and did a "team building" activity. We attended a recently released movie where we had a good laugh (Yes this was team building and beneficial to our employer as it provided insight on how to retrace our steps when we have forgotten important information, various communication skills and how drug use is never a good idea!).

When I got home that evening Brittany and Courtney surprised me with the best cake ever! It was two layers high,one chocolate, the other yellow cake with cream cheese frosting and decorated by a pro!! It had beautiful detail and I could tell it was made with a lot of love!

Then my two great visiting teaching friends brought over Bajio Mexican Grill for the family for dinner... awesome!

After we ate we drove to Hollywood for my FREE B-Day movie rental. We got Forever Strong and sat as a family and called it our Monday-family night activity.

In addition to a great stress free day I received many of the gifts from my check list and more!

I would like to thank all of those great individuals for their kindness and love! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!

Thank you Jennifer and boys for the Aveda products, I love my Rosemary Minty hair!

Thank you secret someone for the cookies, chocolates and that other thing we are not talking about that sits on my desk.

Thank you Young family for the beautiful flowers.

Thank you Mom and Dad for the contribution to my happy new lens and the roses.

Thank you Becky for the Thanksgiving Point bouquet and the gift certificate for Rod Works (I went today and found the perfect iron flower basket, I just need to measure it to make sure it fits!)

Thank you Glynis for the Kneaders gift basket.

Thank you Jill and Sam (...And Bro Decker) for coming over and taking care of Alexis.

Thank you Tracy in advance for the Birthday BBQ that is now a family get-together, oh -well I am looking forward to the sweet ribs you are going to make! Oh, and Mel for the support and decorations.

Thank you to all of you who brought by cookies and cards and to everyone for the Happy Birthday wishes!

Oh- and thank you mother nature... I even got fresh snow on Timp!

Yummy!

Due to all of the cookies and flowers I received Courtney asked "Is that just what you get when you get old, cookies and flowers?"

Mokey - UP - Donuts

After weeks of preparation, the big moment cam on May 30th at the Pleasant Grove City Fireman's Breakfast.

Kyle was finally ready to come face to face with "Mokey the Bear." Kyle was not too fond of him last year and I guess the memory of the experience has stayed with him. We drive past the Firehouse almost daily, and shortly after the banner went up to announce this year's Fireman's Breakfast the questions started,: "Mom, dose Mokey have teef?", "Mom, Brittany hug Mokey and he no bite her, do Mokey eat kids?", "Is Mokey nice?". After weeks of telling him that Smokey the Bear is nice and that he can give him a hug he was ready, actually he was very excited.

From the second we entered the Firehouse Kyle was looking for that Mokey, we went through the whole line, had our food and were ready to sit down to eat when that big ole Bear came around the corner. Kyle just stared him down, checking him out, looking for teeth or any sign that he eats kids… then with everything in his little body he said "mom…, I go see Mokey" he was not going to sit and eat until he faced his fear of the furry beast with a ranger hat on. Courtney carried him over to see him. He shook his hand and allowed a picture to be taken with the creature, but no hug for Mokey, and I think he was thinking he was close enough. But he did it, I am so proud of him!

After saying Hi to Smokey the Bear we all had a good breakfast and then went out to look at the trucks.

After breakfast we went to see the Disney/Pixar movie UP. Loved it, I have been quoting lines from the dang thing all week, Squirrel.

After the movie was a trip to Krispy Cream donuts. I was hoping they would be HOT and Ready, so that Kyle and the girls could see how they make them, but they were not running the machine at the time, so we got a few donuts and sat down and enjoyed them.

When we got home Kyle, Cameron and I all took a nap.. . what a great day!

Happy 7 Months Old Day

Cameron is 7 months old today. He is always so content and happy. I love having him around!

Cameron just loves to read, here he is reading the tag on his Build A Bear Leopard.