So I have had people tell me that I am weird for getting along so well with my extremely soon to be ex-husband #2. Over the past two months we have gone to lunch, talked on the phone, sent text messages to each other for no reason, taken the kids to the movies... just normal stuff.
In a small way I think it was giving me a sense of hope, how could we possibly get a divorce when we are getting along so well, almost too well. I felt closer to him than I had in a very long time.
So let’s just say because of that feeling I did not have a problem letting him know how much I still cared about him.
You have heard the saying, have your cake and eat it too, I have a twist on that; when you give a man cake, you get cupcakes! Or in this case one cupcake.
While you are still spinning from this let me add that this new bit of news has not changed how almost ex-husband #2 feels about our marriage or me. This was obvious because he was like a kid on Christmas morning when we signed our divorce papers this evening at my attorney’s office.
And if you are wondering, yes, I am doing ok, not great. I should be more excited about a new baby than I am to be honest, but I don’t see this as a mistake, I see it more as a blessing. I am not quite sure what that blessing is yet (other than a girl or boy), but I am sure that this baby will be loved greatly.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Personal Bubble
Everyone should have a personal space bubble. I am ok with the fact that some are larger than others and that the size of your bubble can change, but I do not think that NOT having a bubble is acceptable.
For example, if you are standing in line at a grocery store and a stinky, kinda creepy, person is in line behind you and they are trying to put their bag of chips and beer on the grocery belt before you are done… then you need to make a bigger bubble. It is not acceptable that they do not have a bubble. It is gross!
Even children have bubbles. ** Note to parents: The children, who have yet to learn about their bubble, need to be taught that they have one. I am very proud of my 19 month old son who recently on a trip to Cold Stone for ice cream slowly backed away from a very large man wearing a dirty white t-shirt that did not cover his belly and sweat pants that should not be worn in public. This man insisted on talking to Kyle and as a good boy Kyle increased his bubble by backing up slowly until he reached me. See even at this age they just know better.
We all know at least one person whose bubble is like a wet suit. They have no concept that they have passed into your bubble and the idea that there is even such a thing as a personal space bubble is unfathomable to them. These people usually have a sense of arrogance to them, almost entitlement, as if your space is their space… and why not!
Those people BUG me!
For example, if you are standing in line at a grocery store and a stinky, kinda creepy, person is in line behind you and they are trying to put their bag of chips and beer on the grocery belt before you are done… then you need to make a bigger bubble. It is not acceptable that they do not have a bubble. It is gross!
Even children have bubbles. ** Note to parents: The children, who have yet to learn about their bubble, need to be taught that they have one. I am very proud of my 19 month old son who recently on a trip to Cold Stone for ice cream slowly backed away from a very large man wearing a dirty white t-shirt that did not cover his belly and sweat pants that should not be worn in public. This man insisted on talking to Kyle and as a good boy Kyle increased his bubble by backing up slowly until he reached me. See even at this age they just know better.
We all know at least one person whose bubble is like a wet suit. They have no concept that they have passed into your bubble and the idea that there is even such a thing as a personal space bubble is unfathomable to them. These people usually have a sense of arrogance to them, almost entitlement, as if your space is their space… and why not!
Those people BUG me!
Friday, March 21, 2008
The First Concert Experience
This past week a friend in the neighborhood had a few extra tickets for an event held by Novell. Novell being a fairly large company has a yearly event where they bring in a band and thank their employees and customers. This year it was Collective Soul. I felt like a little kid winning a radio contest, I literally squealed when I hung up the phone with her. She brought over two tickets and I was in a panic trying to think of who to take with me, I have to admit future x#2 was the first person on my mind, but that was just weird, so I thought about my sissy, but she was having health issues (you can read more on her blog about that) and so I sat trying to think of someone that would like to join me… I have no friends. I am a loser. Alexis in the mean time kept jumping up and down and saying me, me, me! When Liz came by with the tickets all the girls were huddled around to see my excitement and then Liz realized I needed more tickets to take ALL the girls. She came back a few minutes later with two more tickets… it was so great! She is awesome!
So on Wednesday March 19th I had a blast taking my girls to their first concert. Well at least Brittany and Courtney, Alexis had the pleasure of seeing Aaron Carter for her first concert experience, I think this one was better.
Novell had their moment to thank everyone, bla, bla, bla and then they brought out their opening act, Frank Caliendo. He is a comedian that does great impressions, like President Bush and John Madden. Recently I have seen him on commercials for Dish Network. He is a funny guy. I am sure most of the political humor when right over the girls head, but they laughed like they understood every word, that made it even funnier to me.
After an hour of him it was time for the music.
Alexis was the only one that was sure she had heard Collective Soul, Courtney had tried to get out of going and Brittany was just happy to be there. I played two of the CD’s I had on the ride to Salt Lake to give them a crash course in their music, but it was not needed. Once they started they had a good time and really liked them. They realized that they actually knew most of the songs, like Hollywood, the song that American Idol used during Hollywood week, and Shine, the song that made them popular in the late 90’s.
So when it all ended they all decided that they needed the newest album and that they had a great time. I sure had fun, and I am so happy I was able to share it with them. The cool thing will be when my kids are 30 and they tell their friends what the first concert they went to was. Collective Soul is way better than mine, Ann Murray at BYU. How does that compare to your first concert experience?
Oh- During the concert I gained a new happy song; Better Now, it was the song the lead singer wrote after his divorce… I kind of like it, I think I will use that as my theme song for a while too.
So on Wednesday March 19th I had a blast taking my girls to their first concert. Well at least Brittany and Courtney, Alexis had the pleasure of seeing Aaron Carter for her first concert experience, I think this one was better.
Novell had their moment to thank everyone, bla, bla, bla and then they brought out their opening act, Frank Caliendo. He is a comedian that does great impressions, like President Bush and John Madden. Recently I have seen him on commercials for Dish Network. He is a funny guy. I am sure most of the political humor when right over the girls head, but they laughed like they understood every word, that made it even funnier to me.
After an hour of him it was time for the music.
Alexis was the only one that was sure she had heard Collective Soul, Courtney had tried to get out of going and Brittany was just happy to be there. I played two of the CD’s I had on the ride to Salt Lake to give them a crash course in their music, but it was not needed. Once they started they had a good time and really liked them. They realized that they actually knew most of the songs, like Hollywood, the song that American Idol used during Hollywood week, and Shine, the song that made them popular in the late 90’s.
So when it all ended they all decided that they needed the newest album and that they had a great time. I sure had fun, and I am so happy I was able to share it with them. The cool thing will be when my kids are 30 and they tell their friends what the first concert they went to was. Collective Soul is way better than mine, Ann Murray at BYU. How does that compare to your first concert experience?
Oh- During the concert I gained a new happy song; Better Now, it was the song the lead singer wrote after his divorce… I kind of like it, I think I will use that as my theme song for a while too.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Family
Recently I had someone say to me that having a baby is a blessing, I see it a little different. I believe that the blessing comes from creating a family, and a baby is simply an element of that goal.
What makes a family a family? Is it the national standard of two parents and 2.4 children or is it, the more common than not, single parent with children?
A family is defined in Webster’s dictionary as “n, a group composed of parents and children; household group….” even Webster’s has parents as plural and not singular. So what is happening to families as they are defined?
I don’t know anyone that doesn’t know at least one person who is divorced with children, this is obvious because they all know me and I am on my second divorce… with children.
The world is changing; families come in all shapes and sizes. Blended families are becoming more and more common. What is up with that? Did we not learn anything from the Brady Bunch? There was always havoc and mayhem on every episode.
I have a deep desire to be part of a successful family unit. One with two parents working together to raise their children to be strong individuals in an environment that is filled with happiness and love. Don’t get me wrong, I know that $%!# happens and there are always problems, but I believe that a family standing together is strong enough to overcome any obstacle.
This is coming from a woman in the process of her second divorce. I’m optimistic, I believe it can happen, and maybe for a few years that family I seek only contains me and my children. I can branch out and include my parents and grandparents, my sissy and her boyfriend, and my cousin and her family, because a family is more than just the people living in your own home.
So this gets me to the point of this post, I know took long enough! Having my husband leave is something I can overcome and deal with, but loosing the family that was mine for 13 years is really hurting me. My soon to be x-husband is one nine children, who each have their own families and I have grown to love everyone. How do I, a believer in families simply walk away from these people I care so much for? Why do I feel I have to walk away? Why do I feel so awkward when I am around anyone in his family? Maybe it is because I have been there. This is the second time around remember. Ex-husband #1’s family and I kept in touch for several years, and slowly as time went by we just lost contact. I don’t think I am ready for that again and inside I am keeping my distance to protect from the hurt that I know will come from that loss.
So if you are part of my soon to be ex-husband #2 family please remember I will always love you, I will always care for you deeply and that my silence is nothing more than me covering the pain I feel inside at the loss of our relationship.
I am thankful you will always be in my children’s lives and the influence you have on them. They are blessed to be part of your strong family (with its one weak link.)
What makes a family a family? Is it the national standard of two parents and 2.4 children or is it, the more common than not, single parent with children?
A family is defined in Webster’s dictionary as “n, a group composed of parents and children; household group….” even Webster’s has parents as plural and not singular. So what is happening to families as they are defined?
I don’t know anyone that doesn’t know at least one person who is divorced with children, this is obvious because they all know me and I am on my second divorce… with children.
The world is changing; families come in all shapes and sizes. Blended families are becoming more and more common. What is up with that? Did we not learn anything from the Brady Bunch? There was always havoc and mayhem on every episode.
I have a deep desire to be part of a successful family unit. One with two parents working together to raise their children to be strong individuals in an environment that is filled with happiness and love. Don’t get me wrong, I know that $%!# happens and there are always problems, but I believe that a family standing together is strong enough to overcome any obstacle.
This is coming from a woman in the process of her second divorce. I’m optimistic, I believe it can happen, and maybe for a few years that family I seek only contains me and my children. I can branch out and include my parents and grandparents, my sissy and her boyfriend, and my cousin and her family, because a family is more than just the people living in your own home.
So this gets me to the point of this post, I know took long enough! Having my husband leave is something I can overcome and deal with, but loosing the family that was mine for 13 years is really hurting me. My soon to be x-husband is one nine children, who each have their own families and I have grown to love everyone. How do I, a believer in families simply walk away from these people I care so much for? Why do I feel I have to walk away? Why do I feel so awkward when I am around anyone in his family? Maybe it is because I have been there. This is the second time around remember. Ex-husband #1’s family and I kept in touch for several years, and slowly as time went by we just lost contact. I don’t think I am ready for that again and inside I am keeping my distance to protect from the hurt that I know will come from that loss.
So if you are part of my soon to be ex-husband #2 family please remember I will always love you, I will always care for you deeply and that my silence is nothing more than me covering the pain I feel inside at the loss of our relationship.
I am thankful you will always be in my children’s lives and the influence you have on them. They are blessed to be part of your strong family (with its one weak link.)
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Time
How quickly time goes by with out realizing it.
Remember when you were a kid and time moved at a different pace… slow. You could not wait till summer vacation, or for your next birthday, and it always took forever to get here. How different a year was as a child compared to now. As an adult time moves almost too quickly, we never have time to do the things we want to or need to. Often when we look back at a year we can not believe it is over, and how quickly it went by.
Sometimes we have regrets that we did not take the time to do the things we should have done, or that we did not use the time we had wisely. For me, the past year and a half have been a blessing. I have had the opportunity to enjoy time as I never had before. When I look back at this past year and a half I see something new, something different, something great. I see a new me. I am a better person, I am healthier, stronger, more spiritual, and a better mother.
I owe much of this change to one person, not my husband who has decided that 13 years is long enough to be married and wants a divorce, and not to my sister who I have developed a new found friendship with, but to one small boy; my son Kyle.
As I look over the past year and a half I can not believe how quickly this time has gone by. The changes are small when you’re in the middle of them, but when you look back at each month there is growth. For both Kyle and I there has been much growth and change, we are stronger, smarter, and more aware of the world around us.
Though the time has moved quickly, I am thankful for each moment I have had.
Remember when you were a kid and time moved at a different pace… slow. You could not wait till summer vacation, or for your next birthday, and it always took forever to get here. How different a year was as a child compared to now. As an adult time moves almost too quickly, we never have time to do the things we want to or need to. Often when we look back at a year we can not believe it is over, and how quickly it went by.
Sometimes we have regrets that we did not take the time to do the things we should have done, or that we did not use the time we had wisely. For me, the past year and a half have been a blessing. I have had the opportunity to enjoy time as I never had before. When I look back at this past year and a half I see something new, something different, something great. I see a new me. I am a better person, I am healthier, stronger, more spiritual, and a better mother.
I owe much of this change to one person, not my husband who has decided that 13 years is long enough to be married and wants a divorce, and not to my sister who I have developed a new found friendship with, but to one small boy; my son Kyle.
As I look over the past year and a half I can not believe how quickly this time has gone by. The changes are small when you’re in the middle of them, but when you look back at each month there is growth. For both Kyle and I there has been much growth and change, we are stronger, smarter, and more aware of the world around us.
Though the time has moved quickly, I am thankful for each moment I have had.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Cheap and easy
I am the kind of girl that enjoys the finer things in life.
I love staying at expensive hotels and resorts, two on the top of my list are the Ritz-Carlton at Half Moon Bay in California and the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City.
I like eating at nice places, Sundance comes to mind, and I enjoy nice things… such as my precious (a sweet Guess purse that my sissy gave me for Christmas that I would never fork out the money for).
But deep down inside there is a white trash, trailer park girl just kicking to get out! If I am flipping the channels and there is a race on I am glued. Watching cars go around a track over and over and you can’t turn away, you know why don’t you, ya- that’s right, there might be a crash! You don’t want to miss that. The same thing goes with Rodeos, my favorite part, the bulls. The odds are in the bulls favor and watching a man get flop around and get pounded on like that for the heck of it, well it turns this white trash girl on!
Oh it gets worse. Let’s talk food, when you think of cheep what comes to mind? The dollar menu at McDonalds, oh sure those nuggets are awesome, but that is still a bit on the expensive side if you ask me, and I would have to leave my house to drive 10 minutes to get there. There is a much finer choice in cuisine, one that I have to admit my sissy opened my eyes to. It is the 88 cent Totino’s pizza. Oh ya! That is where it is at! Walk to the freezer, open the oven, toss it in… oh ya, right on the rack, no pan required, you can’t get easier than that!
I love staying at expensive hotels and resorts, two on the top of my list are the Ritz-Carlton at Half Moon Bay in California and the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City.
I like eating at nice places, Sundance comes to mind, and I enjoy nice things… such as my precious (a sweet Guess purse that my sissy gave me for Christmas that I would never fork out the money for).
But deep down inside there is a white trash, trailer park girl just kicking to get out! If I am flipping the channels and there is a race on I am glued. Watching cars go around a track over and over and you can’t turn away, you know why don’t you, ya- that’s right, there might be a crash! You don’t want to miss that. The same thing goes with Rodeos, my favorite part, the bulls. The odds are in the bulls favor and watching a man get flop around and get pounded on like that for the heck of it, well it turns this white trash girl on!
Oh it gets worse. Let’s talk food, when you think of cheep what comes to mind? The dollar menu at McDonalds, oh sure those nuggets are awesome, but that is still a bit on the expensive side if you ask me, and I would have to leave my house to drive 10 minutes to get there. There is a much finer choice in cuisine, one that I have to admit my sissy opened my eyes to. It is the 88 cent Totino’s pizza. Oh ya! That is where it is at! Walk to the freezer, open the oven, toss it in… oh ya, right on the rack, no pan required, you can’t get easier than that!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Not everything goes with chocolate
I am standing in line today at the local Wal-Mart and there at the check out nestled between the M&M’s and the Snickers bar are the NEW! Chocolate Mix Skittles.. what the… are you serious. This is just after an outing with the girls and they were talking about the new Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr Pepper.. ewww.
Chocolate is getting into everything! It is said that chocolate is the food of the God's; I just wonder if the God's would approve of it in their gum or in their Pop Tarts.
I know that there is a HUGE push to say that chocolate is healthy, I should know I tried the sell the most expensive dark chocolate on the planet, Xocai, I believe I have around $2,000 worth in my pantry, lets call it food storage so I don’t get frustrated.
Have you noticed that every chocolate company now has “Unprocessed Cacao” on the label, says that it is filled with antioxidants or some even have an ORAC score, and how many people have any idea what that even means unless you’re a chemist.
My point is that not everything goes with chocolate.
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