Family

Recently I had someone say to me that having a baby is a blessing, I see it a little different. I believe that the blessing comes from creating a family, and a baby is simply an element of that goal.

What makes a family a family? Is it the national standard of two parents and 2.4 children or is it, the more common than not, single parent with children?

A family is defined in Webster’s dictionary as “n, a group composed of parents and children; household group….” even Webster’s has parents as plural and not singular. So what is happening to families as they are defined?

I don’t know anyone that doesn’t know at least one person who is divorced with children, this is obvious because they all know me and I am on my second divorce… with children.

The world is changing; families come in all shapes and sizes. Blended families are becoming more and more common. What is up with that? Did we not learn anything from the Brady Bunch? There was always havoc and mayhem on every episode.

I have a deep desire to be part of a successful family unit. One with two parents working together to raise their children to be strong individuals in an environment that is filled with happiness and love. Don’t get me wrong, I know that $%!# happens and there are always problems, but I believe that a family standing together is strong enough to overcome any obstacle.

This is coming from a woman in the process of her second divorce. I’m optimistic, I believe it can happen, and maybe for a few years that family I seek only contains me and my children. I can branch out and include my parents and grandparents, my sissy and her boyfriend, and my cousin and her family, because a family is more than just the people living in your own home.

So this gets me to the point of this post, I know took long enough! Having my husband leave is something I can overcome and deal with, but loosing the family that was mine for 13 years is really hurting me. My soon to be x-husband is one nine children, who each have their own families and I have grown to love everyone. How do I, a believer in families simply walk away from these people I care so much for? Why do I feel I have to walk away? Why do I feel so awkward when I am around anyone in his family? Maybe it is because I have been there. This is the second time around remember. Ex-husband #1’s family and I kept in touch for several years, and slowly as time went by we just lost contact. I don’t think I am ready for that again and inside I am keeping my distance to protect from the hurt that I know will come from that loss.



So if you are part of my soon to be ex-husband #2 family please remember I will always love you, I will always care for you deeply and that my silence is nothing more than me covering the pain I feel inside at the loss of our relationship.

I am thankful you will always be in my children’s lives and the influence you have on them. They are blessed to be part of your strong family (with its one weak link.)