Recently I was involved in an emotional discussion regarding Child Support. Apparently my opinion and view on the purpose of Child Support differs from someone else.
Instead of me writing what I believe it is intended for I would like to hear what you think. I have a good mix of people that read my blog; married, divorced, with children and with out, some of you may pay support while others may be receiving it, or you just have an opinion about it. I want to hear from you. Even if you have never left a comment before I would appreciate your thoughts on this subject.
Who knows, maybe I am the one that is wrong....
14 comments:
My dear,
child support is for any and all needs of the child; the home the child lives in; transportation for those in the home; entertainment for the home; icecream; candy; clothes; and a movie alone for the parent who cares for the child or children. In others words, anything the parent cares to use it for except gambling, booze, or general debauchery.
mike hale
Sorry,
one more thing. I have found that people who try to argue about child support and it's ultimate use are just trying to exert more control over others without accepting the responsibility of their care.
Child support is for the basic needs of the child, this includes activities and such. The other thing that parent paying the support is obligated to pay for is half of Medical/Dental/Child Care. This information is straight from an attorney.
You know how I feel about this. Child support that is paid to you is for the care of the children while they are in your home. When they are with the ex, he/she is responsible for paying for food, clothing, housing, all that.
Be being an non-parent I may have a very different view. Child support money should be treated just like any other money coming into the house hold and included into the household budget. A child should benefit from the lifestyle of both parents thus the combined income. I have been around enough parents and all they really want is the best for the children. At the end of the day every dollar you spend will directly or indirectly affect the kids so why keep it separate. If a parent truly wants the best for the kids why would it even come into question? (Just saying)
Child support is for the spouse who is the primary caregiver of the child. (usually the Mom). It is used to maintain the household so the child has a stable enviroment to live.
Child support is for the support of the child. Everything the child does, needs or is involved in. (school activities, food, clothing, heat, housing, transportation, etc.) Medical bills, cavities, eyeglasses, etc. should also be paid for over and above child support (half & half). It's my opinion, based only on my experience and not worth anything, that the custodial parent who receives the child support usually is paying more toward's the child's everyday life and expenses than the non-custodial parent.
PS: Divorce SUCKS!
Maybe you asked the wrong question... If the non custodial parent is paying child support - do they need to pay for anything else when the child is with them? Like clothing, diapers, formula etc. Or does the payment of child support mean that the custodial parent then has to provide EVERYTHING for the child?
What a crock, Anonymous. It sounds like you may be thinking that the payment of child support immediately dissolves you of all additional financial support of your children. If that child is with you, you are responsible for their well being and care from A to Z. Which includes but certainly isn't limited to food/formula, clothing, diapers, toys. I don't see you asking for packed lunches and dinners and toilet paper for the older kids, why should formula and diapers be any different.
When we had Jared coming to our home every other week we were paying a hefty child support payment. He had a set of shoes and pants here, a set of sunday clothes and shoes, as he was a teen he much preferred to bring his own clothes so that was allowed by both custodial parents otherwise we would have had much much more for him. But at least he had enough basics that if he forgot something he wasn't without. He always had his own room, his own bed and his own space to be. He had some games that stayed at our house and some that could go either house. On top of child support we also payed half of all medical and dental, in fact I would often offer to pay the entire bill in order to provide better care for him. I preferred white dental fillings and his mom the cheaper silver I was "just" the stepmom but more than happy to pay the additional money to provide the best for him. We often bought things that were technically his mother's responsibility as well, winter coats, underwear, socks, shoes for him to take to his mom's house, because it was about taking care of our son not about who was responsible for what.
oh we also paid for 1/2 of the school fees and sometimes for entire class fees so that he could take the courses he wanted to and not what his mom could afford. And as a person who had grown up in an out of state school district to me the fees were INCREDIBLE!
Melanie. You are awesome. I'm proud to call you my cousin's sister-in-law. Love you!
Child support is exactly that: funds that pay for the care and needs of the child.
My husband makes support payments each month; and, for the most part, the money covers what is was intended to. We might make different financial decisions sometimes, but usually there's no problem. The only time things get ugly is when our daughter's mother refuses to send clothing, shoes, or her favorite hair clips. She feels that we should keep a second set of all these things at our home because it's "inconvenient" to pack. We do keep some things on hand for these moments; but, honestly, it's a financial burden to have to supply these items a second time when child support funds should cover it. Our daughter doesn't get the same kind of wear and use out of the second set of clothes--we end up sending them to Good Will almost brand new because she's growing fast.
We haven't had to do the diaper and formula thing, so I don't really have an opinion there.
People usually get divorced when they are unable to resolve conflict with each other. In a case like the care of our children it is wise if both parents forget themselves and put their children first. Definately the noncustodial parent should have diapers and formula in the home. The custodial parent may want to send a couple of diapers and perhaps a small amount of formula in a bag just so the non custiodial parent has some on hand when the transition takes place. These should be kept in a diaper bag - the non custodial parent shouldn't send the diaper bag home empty but help keep it replenished so the child always has what he needs. Remember its about the child.
Child support is to support the child and the household. I've found that my child support basically just covers a "portion" of my house payment but fails to cover, food, clothing, electricity, school functions, fun times, or ANYTHING extra. It'd be nice to be able to determine EXACTLY how much need to pay every month to live-things change, emergencies happen, expenses increase. I don't have
the luxury to only have to pay a set amount each month no matter what occurs but it seems that my ex does. He also gets to call me and plead poverty and ask if he can pay it late or if I can hold his check...etc. I can't do that. I still have to house, feed and clothe my kids. Again...your ex should have all the basic items at his house. It's not your responsibility.
Christine
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