Happy Thoughts

I need to stop focusing on what I cannot control and I need to look at the good things in my life so here is a list of 10 of my happy thoughts:

1. All of my super smart girls made the Honor Roll last semester! Congratulations Brittany, Courtney and Alexis!

2. I have a BEAUTIFUL yard! (Thanks to Conrad at A Beautiful Yard landscaping)

3. Kyle is mastering his colors and the letter K (for Kyle).

4. Cameron can always make me smile, no matter what my mood.

5. Melanie can retrieve the data on my external hard drive for less than $200.00

6. I have an awesome sister who takes pictures like a rock star, and she pays me to help with lighting.

7. Brittany will be in Hope of America in May and she is actually part of the flag. (I secretly LOVE the Provo Freedom Festival’s Hope of America program!)

8. Courtney is part of FCCLA, she made next year’s 8th grade student body presidency and she is trying to be part of PG Jr. High PALS and chior, I am so proud of her for getting involved in school activities.

9. Alexis actually asked if she could go get her permit and start driving… I don’t know if that is a Happy Thought or not, but I will add it to my list.

10. When Kyle grows up he wants to be a Fireman, a Policeman, a Doctor, a Monster, Iron man, the Hulk and recently added to his list: Stuntman

Costochondritis

I mentioned in a prior post that I have Costochondritis, and have had several question what this is. Well it is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone (sternum). It typically causes sharp pain in the costosternal joint — where your ribs and breastbone are joined by rubbery cartilage. Very scientific, I know, basically the pain caused by costochondritis may mimic that of a heart attack or other heart conditions.
In the past when I have had an attach it has been so painful that just breathing hurts, so I take shallow breaths and as a result of the pain and lack of oxygen I end up passing out.
The first time I was in the bathroom and I hit my head on the tub and ended up in the American Fork ER where an idiot told me the pain was in my head! It was a good thing I was on Morphine at the time!
The second major episode I passed out at the South Town Expo during a Scrapbooking exhibit. From what I understand Melanie almost took out a security guard and a paramedic to get to me. When they would not let her in the ambulance she went to the hospital and told them she was my sister. She’s awesome!
I am not sure why I have it, but I have had to deal with this for about 5 or 6 years now. I have been told that it may be a result of the car accident I was in when I was in when I was young because it can be found in people that have experiences a “traumatic injury” or it could have been flared up by my recent cold because viral infections, usually upper respiratory infections, have also been identified as a cause of costochondritis as well, either way it is not fun. I am just glad I know how to see the warning signs before I pass out and end up in an ER. besides I hate to worry Melanie.

It just is what it is…

April 23rd may not have been the Worst day ever, but it ranks up there in the top 10.

After coughing all night because of this great cold that I am blessed with I woke up around 3 am with pain in my chest, not a good sign. The coughing had flared up my Costochondritis and the last thing I needed was to pass out due to that, so I grabbed an ice pack, and took a strong anti-inflammatory and tried to calm myself down and take deep breaths.

It must have worked because I slept through my alarm, and I woke up to Courtney telling me she was leaving for school. Great now I am late for work (more than normal). I got in the shower and started to get ready.

As I was scrambling to get dressed Brittany brought the phone in to me, it was Donovan. He needed to talk… ok, never a good sign.
Apparently Office of Recovery Services has returned his last check because they could not read a number on it and he had to go give them another one so that is why I had not received his Child Support this month. In addition his severance has run out, his recruiter still has not found a job for him and he has no more income.
Their for this will be the last check from him.
Um… ok, ya think you could have said something sooner! Not like I can make a house payment and all the other requirements I have on my income. Oh-but wait there is more…

He then goes on to tell me that the bank wants to know if I am going to sell my house, because it is the collateral on the construction loan for the beast of a house in Elkridge. Then he went on talking about bankruptcy, foreclosure, short sales and a couple that wants to buy the Elk Ridge house but can’t qualify…bla bla bla… ya you lost me at last check.

I knew the conversation was going nowhere when he said “it just is what it is Lore” and then he made what I think was suppose to be a joke about looking for jobs that pay $300k and maybe he would find one in that bracket… I am so not in a laughing mood.

My mind instantly starts running numbers (and if you know me then you know I suck at numbers) Ok, so with what I have in savings I figure I have about 3 months before I am requesting food stamps and moving into a homeless shelter.

Still running late I get off the phone, get the boys ready and rush out the door to work. On my way I get a panic phone call from Melanie, I had left her a message at 3 am telling her the medications I had taken and how I was feeling, just in case I did end up passing out, but she did not know when I left the message and was seriously worried, she had witnessed one of these attacks first hand and it was not a pretty sight. I assured her I was ok.

I arrive over an hour late; my head still killing from my cold and my chest still tight. I was briefing my boss of how I was feeling and if he heard a thunk at my desk that it was not a heart attack so he needed to let the first responders know that. As I am telling him this Melanie’s husband Brent walks up; she takes care of me I tell you, he sets up a “Panic” button on my phone, one touch and it goes right to him.

Ok, can I start work now? Did I mention that I was covering for Jennifer, at least I would stay busy today. After settling in and taking care of a few issues the pain started to increase. It was time to ask a first responder for an ice pack, without filling out an accident report. Ice pack in hand I continued the rest of the work day without further issues.

So far not the end of the world right.

As I am driving home I get a call from Melanie, checking in on me, so I thought. I could tell there was a tone of worry in her voice. Spill it Mel, what’s wrong….

Well that new MaxStor external hard drive that she got me to back up my older external hard drive may have caused some problems. When we had tried to hook it up the night before there apparently was a flag that needed to be checked to NOT REFORMAT THE OLD DRIVE! Whoops. So when I got home I did a quick check, sure enough the old drive is empty. Everything… literally EVERYTHING I have is on that. (Deep breathe… too late to worry about it now). Melanie insures me it can be recovered, but it will be a few hundred dollars… oh wait of which I DON”T HAVE!

I’ll deal with that later. My day labors are finishing up the work on my yard that I hired them to do. It looks wonderful and I know that I would not have had the time or the ability to get it looking this good in just a few days. I had set aside the money to pay for this so I was not too worried about this, I had planned for it and I was prepared for the bill.. but knowing what I knew now I would not have invested the money in the yard. But, it’s too late now.

I am not sure if by that evening I was just so tired from the day’s events that I did not care or if I had just gotten to the point that I felt “it is what it is Lore” but I did not shed a single tear. I was calm, I think. It will work out, I hope, somehow. No need to dwell on the worst now. I just need to take care of what I can and pray for the best.

So, if you want to help me out let me know if you are looking for a $560 k, 8 bedroom house in Elk Ridge or if you have a lead on that 300k a year (preferably on another continent!) job for Donovan, or if you know someone that can guarantee they can recover data from a external hard drive for less than $200, please let me know.

In Memory of Melvin

We recently added a new team member at work who brought a smile to the face of everyone he came in contact with. He was only with us a short period of time, his passing will be hard on all of us, but his memory will live with in each of us for a very long time.

Melvin the Mallard was the inspiration to the team after reading about one of his ancestors journeys (for a full appreciation of Melvin please read here: One to Many Hits )

From the moment I first laid eyes on Melvin in the local grocery store I knew he was perfect. I needed to introduce him to my team members, they would love him as much as I did.

The following day at work I learned just how perfect he was for our team. As Jennifer sat at her desk listening to her I-pod and not able to hear me talking to her, I launched Melvin towards her head, simply to get her attention, because any impact and she probably would never have been the same. Success! She removed her I-pod and I was able to communicate with her thanks to the help of Melvin.
From that moment on he brought many smiles and laughs to the team, but today we mourn the loss of a great Duck.

Earlier today as Melvin the Mallard was taking an aerial flight across the room towards the shipping lead he was captured and held for ransom. The tense negotiations went on for hours as Melvin’s fate was unsure. His captures known as The Birds Of Prey or BOP, made several demands that included a Coke with Ice, a Jones Apple soda in a bottle and daily visits to the shipping doc at precisely 1:00 pm each day. The demands of the captures appeared to be out of reach and the authorities were called in to take action. That was when BOP put an untimely end to Melvin’s life.

Melvin the Mallard was returned in a Duck Body Bag, his beak, eyes and little feet were all duck taped (how ironic.)

It was a cruel end to a wonderful life.

Pictures below may be too graphic for small children.

A private service will be held for immediate family and close friends.

You can read the multiple postings as the activities of today’s events unfolded on Jennifer’s Blog.
** Update. Recent reports indicate that Melvin was actually a female bird and that she left behind 6 beautiful eggs that will someday grow in Melvin’s likeness and seek revenge on the BOP gang.

Just a Warning

My concealed weapons permit class has already paid off.
Even thought I have not received my handy dandy permit yet (I sent it off about 6 weeks ago for approval but for some reason the government office that reviews and approves the permits is a bit back logged with a large volume of requests since November 4th, wanna guess what that is about?!) but it still paid off.
I apparently was going over the speed limit the other day on the way to work and PG’s finest pulled me over for going 5 miles over the speed limit, is it just me, because I though 25 was more of a guideline than a rule, 30 just feels right. Anyway, I pulled over, removed my driver’s license from my purse and turned off the truck. I had my hands on the steering wheel when the police officer politely asked if I was aware of the speed limit, yes sir I am.


In my permit class, we were taught that if we are pulled over or if a police officer needs to run your license that you need to identify yourself as a permit holder, otherwise they think you are trying to hide something, it is just better to be upfront about it. When he asked for my license, I said, “I want you to know that I have applied for a concealed weapons permit but I have not received the notification yet, just in case it shows up, also, I do not have a weapon in the truck.”


The reply I got back was very unexpected! He said “ARE YOU SO EXCITED?” he was almost giddy about it. I just smiled and laughed a bit and said, “Well ya.” That was when he said that he just needed to see my license and if it ran clean he would let me off with just a warning.

Where is the Manual?

Has anyone seen a manual on raising kids? I don’t need the parenting 101 guide, I think after 5 kids I have the basics down pretty well. I am looking for the one that has a chapter dedicated to kids of divorced parents titled “Dealing with the Aftermath” or “Repercussions of your Actions” either one will do.
I am hoping that it will tell me the best way to help my girls with out getting them or their fathers mad at me. I need answers to the following questions.

1. How do I help a 16 year old to see that having a relationship with her dad is important, when her dad is not making a consistent effort to include her in his life?
I understand that she has been hurt by the male father figures in her life. It is no secret that even I am upset that the one man who primarily raised her walked away from her and has not acknowledge the damage he did, but then to have her own dad tell her the last time he saw her “If you come with me this time you never have to come up again..” (umm, no, you did NOT just say that!) How do you fix that?
This 16 year old needs a dad who loves her and wants to be in her life. One that can support her in the decisions she makes to be a good kid. One that is proud of how well she does in school, love her quirkiness, and admire her beauty.
How do I fix this? Do I go to her dad and tell him he needs to make more of an effort by calling and talking, NOT TEXTING, and asking how she is doing, not just when you want to see her but just because you lover her and miss her. Tell him to make plans to spend time with her, not throwing the court order at her “It’s MY weekend” just will not work with her, where is the love in that statement? If I tell him this will he get mad at me?
How do I do this and not make the 16 year old mad at me for wanting her to spend time with him? It is not that I do not want her here, but that I am afraid that when she grows up she will regret the decision to not have him in her life. He is family no matter how you look at it and family is important. They need to spend time together.

2. How do I help a 10 year old who has always thought that world revolves around her dad? She loves him so much that the separation is very painful for her. But add the element that there is another woman in his life that takes him even more away from her and you have a very sad little girl. What do I say to her when she tells me how upset she is through her tears? When she tells me that she is uncomfortable with how her dad and his girlfriend act when they are together, how should I react?
Do I go to him and tell him what she has said? If he then turns around and tells her than am I betraying her trust and as a result hurting the relationship I have with her? Do I try to explain to him that he may be ready to move on but his children are not, and introducing them to each new person is hurting them? Do I continue to just comfort this 10 year old child the best I can and hope that she makes it though this ok or do I seek out a counselor that can determine how sad she truly is and help her through it?
Where the manuals that help you raise good kids that will grow up and have healthy relationships with their family, future spouse and their own children? How do you make the choices that help them and not mess them up even more? Where is that book?

99.9 % Sure

I am almost positive that it is April 16, 2009, my calendar said so, my children are on spring break and last week was Easter weekend. But something outside says it is December…

Do you see what I see… kind of hard to miss it! I guess this is what happens when you clean out the garage and put the snow shovels and sleds away for next winter.

To think that last Sunday (Easter) looked like this: