I’m not ready!

I am so not ready to have this baby! At my last doctors appointment as I was walking out of the examination room he said “ok, see you in two weeks!” What the crap, I am down to the two week appointments! I think I had that deer in the headlights look on my face because he gave me a big hug and said that he knew I would be ok and that I could do this… sure the having the baby part is no big deal, been there done that, it was easy! It is the taking care of a new baby, a toddler, 2 preteens and a teenager ALONE that freaks me out. I am NOT ready for that! I would like to turn into an elephant and have a gestational period of 22 months. That would give me 15 more months to prepare myself to have a newborn around. I am so not ready.

I am also not ready to be part of the “singles scene!” What the heck! Do I look like someone that people would want to date?? I am expecting a baby people! If I have one more person ask me if I am dating anyone yet I am going to kick them, I know, not mature behavior, but seriously. I had a member of my church stop by the other day; he is the 35-45 year old single adult leader (ya, in the LDS community we try hard to pair you up even at that age) he invited me to a singles activity with some of his friends. At first the idea sounded like fun, then I remembered I am pregnant, and then I remembered that I had my kids this weekend and honestly they are more important than any singles activity, and after a few minutes the entire idea freaked me out and I decided I AM NOT READY FOR THIS! The whole idea of dating: the lame games, worrying about how I look, what I say, will he call… ugh! Yuck! I am so not ready!

One more I am so not ready… I am so not ready for tomorrow. Why am I posting a blog at 12:30 at night, well because when I got home this evening my house was like stepping into an oven. Someone had turned the temperature down to 68 degrees on a cool function… but, nothing was coming out of the vents (can’t wait till I get the electric bill too). So I went to investigate my furnace room, the pipes are all frozen, yes frozen, with actual ice formed on them. So I am sitting here stressed out, and thought I needed to vent, so I am writing a blog entry because I am so not ready for the bill to fix this.