Size MATTERS!

How can a little embryo the size of my little finger make me look like I am 6 months pregnant in a matter of 2 weeks? Freak!

First let me say that due to the divorce diet I have lost a lot of weight in the past few months and I was finally down to a number on my scale that I was proud of. I think it has been at least ten years since I have seen a number that low. Then all of a sudden things started to change! I swear my super cute Lucky Brand Jeans fit perfect two weeks ago, and now I can’t even button them. What the heck!
I think it is dumb that my body can recall that just 19 months ago it went through this same torture, their for I think it is jumping the gun and getting a head start.

I guess I am having a harder time with this, this time around because I am alone and I don’t want to look or feel fat! I have a super low self esteem as it is and to add weight to it is sending me over the edge. Ok, ok, I know we are talking baby weight but no matter how you put it I still can not get into my Lucky’s.

Part of my size issue is that I have been looking for clothing to return to work. I have accepted a position back at the company I left prior to having my sweet little boy. It is actually working with the same people, on the same account. When I received the offer I had to look at it as a blessing. I need the insurance to cover the pregnancy, I was dreading the labor and delivery bill that I knew would be in the thousands. The job will also allow me to refinance my house into my name, when ever soon to be ex-husband #2 removes his construction loan from it. The hard part about blessings is the sacrifice that needs to be made, in my case returning to work means leaving the kids. That is killing me. Not being there for the girls when they get home from school, or when they are out of school, like next week for spring break, they are home all week, and I start work on Monday. The worst is having someone else raise Kyle when I would give anything to do that. The thought of not spending my whole day with him has been the hardest thing for me to overcome.

Back to the size thing, I guess it would have been nice to return to work wearing something small and cute that would at least make me feel good considering I was leaving my kids. Instead it looks like I need to find maternity clothing that can accomplish the same thing… as if.