Freaking Idiot!

Have you ever said something and as it is coming out of your mouth your brain catches up with you and tells you that it may not be a good idea? I do that. I should think more before I speak. Yesterday was a perfect example of this.
But let me back up to how my day was. It started relatively normal. I grabbed a McDonald’s hash brown and two yogurt parfaits; I swear they shrunk! Work was normal, busy, but normal. Around 1:00 I thought I should leave for lunch and go get Alexis’s prescription filled at Costco, but I know they have a lunch break so I called to check when that was, 1:30 to 2. Oh that will be good I can multi task this lunch and drop in and pay a bill at my chiropractor down the street, so I call them and ask to speak to the girl over billing, she is in a meeting and will call back in 15 min. All is good, I have time.
At 2:30 I realize I have not been called back, and I am starving, I grab a handful of pistachio nuts from my desk and keep working. Staying busy working I did not even realize that another hour and a half passes, I know I should eat but it is now so late in the day it is not worth leaving to grab something and I am obviously lazy because I have my own fridge at my desk filled with fruit cups, an orange, several plums, water and Coke, but none of it sounds good. I decide I will just order Pizza Hut pasta on line and schedule to have it delivered 10 min or so after I get home and I will leave early from work.
So with great plans in mind, I leave work, pick up Kyle and head home. I am met by the girls who say that someone has been calling all day asking if they ordered a Pizza, and it was freaking them out. Turns out that Pizza Hut tried to deliver 25 minutes before the time I had indicated on my on line order and the girls were not going to open the door, so they called to verify. I then called them back and explained the situation and they said they would have it right out. Did I mention that I had planned to go to a Key Note Speaker that evening at 7:00 at Thanksgiving Point, my perfect plan of eating with the kids before I left was not working out!
I had made plans with Donovan that he would pick up the kids Tuesday and keep them through the weekend and count this as one of his summer weeks, they are going to Idaho later this week and I would not be home that night, so it made sense.
When he arrived the food still had not been delivered, it is now 6:50, I still have not had anything to eat and I needed to be at the meeting in 10 min. This is where everything kind of goes bad.
Donovan comes out back to get Kyle; I was showing him a Leaf Bug (katydid) that I had picked up on my shoe. We talk for a few minutes and then I tell him that there are plastic diaper covers in Kyle’s bag, and I did not buy, and that he could keep them with him. He then tells me that he got them to take him to public pools and that they are required for infants to go swimming (side note, the only pool I have taken Kyle to in our back yard and in a blow up) I did not know this, I guess this is one of those times when communication would have come in handy. He then proceeds to tell me that he is out of diapers, I reply “so go buy some.” now I don’t want to miss quote him so to preface what he said, it basically was that that was what child support was for and that I was suppose to provide them. I then replied with should I provide you with food for the kids too, because that would the same thing right? This was going nowhere. I mean he is a parent, not a baby sitter; child support is for providing support for your children while they are with me because you left. Not to support your needs.
So this is when my malnourished brain goes into overdrive. As he is walking out of the house I decide to throw in a few more including this one “oh- I also want to tell you that I think you are a freaking idiot for not ever asking Alexis to do anything with you” I said this in front of Brittany, and that ticked him off a bit. I should not call him names in front of his kids. Honestly, freaking idiot was mild compared to some of the other random thoughts that were running through me. He shot back with something that went right through me because at this point I was so frustrated with everything it was not worth my time to stand there and listen. I was already trying to deal with the fact that I was not going to see my kids for the next week, I was frustrated about dinner, I was late for an event I had been looking forward to and a stupid comment about diapers sent me over the edge.
I arrived 20 minutes late to listen to Lisa Bernson from Creative Keepsakes talk. I am glad it was a good lecture filled with ideas on how to improve ourselves by being charitable and thinking about others. Not the frame of mind I walked into the room with, but one that I walked out with (not necessarily towards Donovan thought, he can still buy his own diapers!)

Just one more thing, if I ever say something to you that may not sound right, keep in mind that I don't always think before I speak and I may have not eaten that day.